Unconditional Love
A lot has been said about the term "unconditional love" and its virtues and how it is the backbone of every relationship. This term will come up at least once in everyone's lifetime when dealing with challenges in relationships. This term has put most people on the spot and left them helpless when it gets thrown in their faces during the shouting matches in relationships.
So what really do we mean when we talk about "unconditional love"? What are the conditions that should NOT feature in the love? If love truly conquers all, why are so many relationships failing? Why are there so many lonely relationships? The truth is,Love is not always enough. It does have conditions. It is a matter of identifying, recognizing and interpreting the kind of "conditions" that will make love grow. Everything capable of progress requires certain ideal conditions to move ahead in a positive way, and the same holds true for Love. Love stands tall only if it has a strong foundation of the most basic set of conditions.
The strongest of them all is love and respect for yourself. Contrary to earlier belief, loving and respecting yourself is not being selfish. Losing oneself and one's identity in any relationship will only lead to a sense of failure. The disconnect happens if this condition of self-respect is seen as being selfish by the partner.
There might be oodles of love between two people ,however if there is no mutual respect for each other, the relationship only goes so far. Respect is a condition that is needed by every individual; it is a birthright. Try being stern or showing a little disrespect even to a baby and you will see the baby exhibit some form of displeasure, either by getting angry or by crying out loud. The need to be respected is deep rooted in all beings all over the world.
I will never tire of saying this, Faith and Trust is the be all and end all of everything that we do, everything that we are and everything that we aspire to be. Faith and Trust are strong forces which is probably the reason why these conditions have to be guarded like your life depends on it, because life and its outcomes truly do depend on them. These conditions while being the strongest in keeping a relationship going, are also its weakest link. Faith and trust once lost in a person , proves to be a herculean task to get back, if ever it does.
Once the conditions of self-respect, mutual respect for one another, faith and trust are in place, the conditions of understanding and compatibility fit in as easily as putting in the last few pieces of a puzzle.
Love is like the icing on the cake which binds all these "conditions" together. It is the crust encasing everything together.
Firstly, I commend you on writing a yet another beautiful blog. You have great writing skills.
ReplyDeleteI agree with your write-up on unconditional love with conditions or more so what you put them as the base or platform for unconditional love. Would I be right to say that these pre-conditions are more like expectations for someone to engage in unconditional love? When they say ‘Love is divine’, even in divine love, the lover of the divine has expectations. I think it’s only in fairy tales that one can hear of true unconditional love or love without expectations, something like Meera had for Lord Krishna or Radha had for Lord Krishna. That Love is more like bhakti or devotion.
Of all the four pre-conditions or expectations you put forth for unconditional love, I totally agree that ‘Respect’ is vital. In fact, all the others like Self-respect, faith and trust are off-shoots of respect. There is a very thin line between Self-respect and Ego and many get carried away past that thin line. In any relationship, let be between couples or friends or people vs. their political leaders or in simple terms, say between any two individuals, when they share mutual respect for one another, then all the other pre-requisites for ‘Unconditional Love’ will automatically prevail.
In relationships like parent and child & master and true disciple, the so-called ‘Unconditional Love’ is easily possible because the mutual respect is almost inherent. It is only when two complete strangers are associated with one another that relationship will flourish and be ever-lasting when they share mutual respect among each other.
I look forward to your next blog and I hope someday you can write on the herculean task of gaining back faith and trust, once lost in a person.
Thank you for your comments. As you can see I have not written in a while.
ReplyDeleteDivine love is achievable only when expectations are completely erased. Even a slight shadow of expectation in any kind of love brings it to a lower level. The human mind being so complex and clouded finds this to be a very difficult task.
I think Un condition Al love is only possible on the divine front. The closest it comes to in this real world is of parents to their children . Mind it closest
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